Living with the unknown

I've only spent one day this week working on Children Unite and it's been a bit frustrating. It's half term so I've spent most of my time looking after my tow daughters - Evi and Maya as Jonathan is working. The irony is that he has to take on all the consultancy projects he can - as Children Unite has no sustainable funding yet. This means I can't spend as much time as I'd like looking for sustainable funding. The Trustees meeting we'd planned for next week looks like it will be postponed as not enough people can make it. We've found out the rent on my office is double what we'd thought so can't afford to stay. Aaarrg - good think I only worked one day!

I suppose I’m experiencing the flip side of exciting – unsettling.  Setting up an organisation sounds exciting and sometimes it is…but there’s a lot of boring stuff you have to force yourself to do and there’s also living with the unknown.  Living with the ‘unknown’ reminds me of a horror movie (and there are a lot of those on at the moment as we’re approaching Halloween), a malevolent force that undermines your self-confidence, questions your decisions and repetitively whispers “You can’t do it”.

So, I’m not going to listen to the ‘You can’t do it’ voice…but equally I’m not going put on my superhero suit and fight it (or ask some of my superhero friends to fight it for me).  I’m just going to ignore it…as it’s a creepy kind of fear rather than a clear and present danger…it’s the kind of creepiness that you can sing away.  Indulge me if you will and imagine someone with their fingers in their ears singing:

 “LA, LA, LA I can’t hear you”

I like that image. It makes me laugh and that’s a very good start.  I will be thinking of it next week as I do all the boring stuff; re-arrange the trustees meeting, research rent prices for a new office etc. etc. etc….

PS Thank you Roland for becoming my 6th follower - I've reached my target YeeeHa!